The New Girl – Whatever you do, don’t fall in love, part one.
I stare at myself in the mirror, trying hard not to overcomplicate things. I had been a marketing executive in Auckland for over ten years and almost every day was spent talking in front of people, sometimes one-on-one, often in front of a whole room of people. I held seminars, hosted networking events, and had meetings. Not once did I worry about what someone might think of me. Yet here I was, feeling like a kid on her first day of school. I shook my head at that analogy. That wasn’t right. It’s hard to say what the kid version of me would think if she knew what I was about to do.
“Hi, I’m Brianna,” I said.
“Hi, I’m Brianna,” I tried again, lowering my voice just enough to sound sexier without sounding like I had just run a marathon.
I sighed. My voice wasn’t the problem. Neither was my body. At thirty-six, I was more comfortable in my body than I was in my twenties. The problem was my mind. I tapped on it, as if willing it to fix itself.
I glanced at the clock. I still had an hour before my first client arrived and I was ready far too early. I had already showered, making sure to shave every part of my body that he might see. I had found tiny little hairs on my toes, which had concerned me. Had they always been there? Or was that a result of nearing my forties? Was hair going to sprout up everywhere? I hadn’t noticed it before, and my ex-husband of fifteen years hadn’t mentioned it. That wasn’t a surprise, though. He hadn’t noticed much about me. I shoved thoughts of Mick out of my mind. The last thing I needed when preparing for my first day as an escort was thoughts of my ex-husband swirling through my brain. He hadn’t been great for my confidence.
I looked at myself again. I had done a lot of research before deciding what I was going to wear for my first client. I had gone with a classic little black dress that was easy to take off when the time was right. Under that, I wore nothing. I was second-guessing myself now. Would it be better to wear sexy lingerie? I had already gone out and bought a red and black set that looked great on me, but just this morning I had decided on the nothing under the dress idea. I took the dress off and lay on the bed. With an hour to go, there was no point walking around my apartment ready to go out.
Luckily there was no danger of me falling asleep as my mind was far too active for that. Instead, I lay there thinking about how my life was about to change. Of course, there was a big chance I would hate my first date and immediately beg for my marketing job back, but I couldn’t imagine ever going back to that place. My boss, a self-confessed narcissist, hated that I was so revered in the office. If he knew what I was about to do he would probably laugh and say something about me finally knowing my place in the world. What he didn’t know was that by doing this I was actually taking control of my life again. This time I would be the one in control. I would make my hours, set my fees, and choose my own clients. All while enjoying myself. I was doing this for freedom. For money. For companionship. And, most of all, for pleasure.
I looked at the mirror next to me. Completely naked now, it was hard not to feel excited at the prospect of what I was about to embark on. I had always been a sexual person – aren’t we all? – but Mick had stripped me of that title. My life with him had been good at first, then dull, and it had only gotten worse. Too absorbed in his work, he’d paid little attention to me. It didn’t take me long to do the same, and soon I had forgotten about what it was like to truly enjoy myself. I ran a hand down my stomach and slowly moved it down. I stopped myself just in time when I remembered that someone else would be doing this soon. A client who had booked me through my agency. Someone who had liked my photos and my story. Someone who had chosen me out of all the other women he could’ve chosen from. He got the okay from me, too. I have no idea how other agencies work, but this one told me that I always get to say yes or no to clients. I liked that. One day I might branch out on my own, but for now, as a newbie to this, I was happy to work for an agent. Especially as an ‘older’ escort, it was good to have someone show me the ropes. I smiled at that thought. Ropes. I’d always wanted to try some.
Fifteen minutes until it was time to meet my first client. I put my dress on, reapplied my make-up, and put on my heels. And that was it. I was ready. We were meeting at the bar next to my apartment, which was actually a place I had rented for a while, but he didn’t have to know that, and then we were coming back here. I looked around. The place looked perfect. I looked at myself in the mirror again and smiled. I looked pretty good, too. I inhaled deeply. A little scared. A little excited. There was no turning back. If there was one thing I was good at, it was making a decision and sticking to it. I smiled at myself once more and then made my way to the bar to start my new life.
Click here for part two.